Introduction to Pupil Monarchy
by AnjaLangdon
Summary: Dean Pelton is bringing old traditions back, more specifically the Fresh Start Dance! This year there's a twist though, a King and Queen will be nominated. Will this year's court include Queen Britta and King Jeff?
1. Chapter 1

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 1: Fresh Starts

"Well, here at Greendale we have traditions. And a tradition I'd like to continue is the Fresh Start dance! Remember two years ago when Britta Perry proclaimed her love for Jeffrey Winger in the same cafeteria? Good times Britta! Well, this is your Dean signing off!" Dean Pelton's voice echoed all over the school for everyone to here. Jeff and Britta were the only ones in the Study Room when they heard this. Britta smirks at Jeff "Wow. Two years sure have gone by. I can't believe I was a wittle fweshmen back den!" Jeff raises an eyebrow, "Never use that voice again unless you're going to molest a child." Britta frowns a little, but then the room fills up with people. Shirley, Annie, and Peirce come in from one side, Troy and Abed on the opposite. Shirley is yelling at Pierce that he can't call the lunch lady a Nazi for having blonde hair and blue eyes, and Abed and Troy were agreeing on the movie they should see that weekend. Annie stood nervously in the middle of the room, her lips trembling a tad and eyes a little confused. Britta, the self-proclaimed kick-ass psychologist, recognized the symptoms first.

"Annie," Britta started suspiciously "What do you want to tell us?" Everyone knows that when Annie breaks, she breaks hard. "U-um nothing. I just- I-," she mumbled the rest of the sentence "I heard that you and Jeff were nominated for New Start King and Queen." Jeff stared at the brunette in disbelief. "What. The. Actual. _Fuck_? Why? How? God dammit, the dean rigged the votes." Jeff was fuming and Britta's face was all scrunched up in worry. The last time she got nominated for something her confidence levels overpowered her logic levels and she made a complete ass out of herself. "Well I'm not going then. Titles are for people who care about themselves." She proclaimed arrogantly. Although she kind of wanted that crown. And for Jeff to get the crown. Ok, the big ass secret is out. She still has feelings for Jeff. But when she said she was going, she saw Jeff's face frown a wee bit, which made her happy on the inside. Jeff stared into her soul, "You're going. If you don't, I have the spare key to your apartment to cat sit, and God forbid I will let those devils you call cats out into the street." Britta's mouth stood agape, "You're _threatening _me? Jeff, you have no right to threaten me! I can make my own decisions, and since I have freedom of-" She got cut off from her tirade by a mutual groan. "Well, it's only Monday. You have until Friday to make up your mind." Offered Annie. Jeff shot her a reproachful look while Britta gave her an appreciative one. "Ok, I'll think about it. But if I do go, I'm going hardcore. I'll have Annie do my make-up, Abed you can write my winning speech, Shirley can-""There's one thing I'm kinda sorta leaving out," Annie interrupted her and said at lightning fast speed "Youtwoarenominatedtogetherso ifoneofyouwinstheotherwillto o"

Jeff and Britta share a glance, and start immediately arguing with everyone. "What the hell? Who nominated us _together_? I mean, I like you Jeff, but I'm not sure if I exactly want to participate in this terrible case of humans selling themselves out for popularity-""Britta, shut the _hell _up." Troy groaned, and everyone approved. "Looks like you're in this for the win, Kitten." Jeff smirked. Britta got up, stood right in front of him nose-to-nose, and spat out "Oh you bet we're gonna win. We're going to have matching colors, you're going to buy me a corsage, and we're going to rig the votes if we have to." She slowly backed out of the room backwards, bumping into the door, falling down, getting back up, blushing, and leaving. "God damnit, that girl is a hurricane." Jeff thought. "Jeff? Do you still like Britta?" Said the oh-so-oblivious Abed. Pierce decided he wanted in "Yeah, I thought you were a 'pork her and move on' type of guy." Shirley sighed "No Pierce that was your advice in our first year." Pierce scratched his head "Oh yeah. Anyways why_ do _you like Brittles?" "I don't like Britta!" Jeff barked. "Looks like someone's getting red in the face. Got a crush?" "Pierce, if you fucking whisper another word I will murder you, make you into burgers, and feed you to everyone while you watch from the utter depths of hell itself." Jeff was fuming now and decided it would be best if he just left.

As he was walking out of the door, Troy caught him by the door. "Jeff, can I talk to you?" He asked. Jeff nervously bit his lip expecting a speech of how Britta is 'his', but he agreed nonetheless. "Well, if you haven't noticed I really like Britta. But she's too old for me. She is almost ten years older than me. She was in _fifth _grade when I was born. That's just not okay with me. I just want you to know that I'm fine with whatever's going on with you two, and it won't hurt me if you two , ya know.." He poked his two fingers together. "Ugh Troy. We won't have sex until at least Friday. Anyways, thanks for your 'blessing'. It takes a real man to say that." Troy smiles, "I know this sounds weird, but I've waited a long time for you to say that." He cleared his throat, "Yeah, so um, now I'm gonna throw a football and have a beer. And do manly things." Jeff saw him grinning as he walked away. Britta was right he did help people accidently. Wait a second, Britta's always right. Except when she's doing something stupid.

Jeff walked around the campus for a while contemplating what to do. He really did like Britta, but he's not sure what relationship he wanted with her. In their first year, he was strictly chasing her. For three fourths of their second year they were fuck-buddy's. But now they're just friends. He loves being friends with her, but it's not enough anymore. Is there a word for having sex, being best friends, and him still chasing after her? Oh yeah, a normal relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

** Hey guys! So far I've gotten positive reviews, so I'm going to continue to write! I'm going to post a chapter every weekend most likely, and there will be seven or eight chapters. I hope you all enjoy!**

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 2: Spontaneous Activities

Britta woke up with her both of her cats asses on her face. 'Shit!' She thought, it was Tuesday. She hated Tuesday's for some strange reason. "Double shit!" she said it aloud this time, because it was 7:30am, her class started at 8:15am and all she had for clean clothes was a black dress. She frantically did her make-up, chugged a mug of extra black coffee, chewed a piece of minty gum, and sprinted out of her crappy apartment's door to find her bus speeding away. There was only one solution. She had to call someone for a ride (which was eco-friendly, right?) or call a cab (not energy efficient at _all_) or walk (in these heels? Fuck no!). She made up in her mind something that she would either make her full of regret or serenity.

"Hi, Jeff?" Britta meekly asked, "Before you ask me to do something or worse, _guilt_ me to do something, can I ask you a question? Why did you say Jeff in an interrogative tone? I mean, you dialed me, right? It makes-" She cut him off, "Jeff, you sound like me. Shut up and pick me up." Jeff, in his car, smirked to himself "Should I really pick someone up who's in a particular, dare I say, _sassy_, mood today? Where am I picking you up?" Britta frowned when she heard this, "Corner of Plymouth and Brewster." "Why the _fuck _are you at that corner? I'm picking you up before someone murders you." Jeff made a face as he seriously questioned Britta's choices.

Jeff pulled up right next to Britta and nodded at her "Hop in, kitten." She opened the passenger door and slid in "Classy attire." He smirked. Britta was _not _wearing that dress, so she ended up wearing one size too big flared jeans, a leather men's belt, silver kitten heels and a black pajama shirt. "Shut up. I forgot to do my laundry." She groaned. "Speaking of doing, is that my belt?" Jeff asked shadily.

Fuck no. Fuck fuck _fuck! _"Umm…I guess it is." Britta stared at the floor of his car. "Britta, I don't really give a shit. But what I do give a shit about is why the hell you were on Plymouth and Brewster, why you need a ride, and why you don't want to go to the dance with me. Oh my god I sound like a thirteen year old." Jeff hated making people feel awkward, because it makes him feel awkward. "Well, I was on the corner because I started to walk to Greendale and then realized where I was. I need a ride because I didn't catch the bus." Britta answered candidly. "You didn't answer my last question." Reprimanded Jeff. "I never said I didn't want to go with you. I'm just weary that I'll make you look bad again." They drove in silence the rest of the way to Greendale.

When Jeff parked, he looked at Britta and earnestly said "You didn't make me look bad. Britta, you can't make anyone look bad." Britta looked like a deer about to get hit by a car. 'Shit.' She thought to herself. Jeff put her in a position that required commitment. Britta did the thing she was best at: she opened the door and sprinted away. She didn't look where she was going and ran straight into Shirley. Shirley saw that look in Britta's face and knew what to do. She took Britta's hand and led her into the women's bathroom. "Hon-ey, what happened?" Britta stood there wide-eyed. "H-he, Jeff, he said that I didn't make anyone look bad. He basically said I wasn't a disappointment, and I ran away. Like a sixteen year old. Shirley, I'm turning _thirty _in two weeks. I can't do this. I can't do anything!"

Shirley patted her arm, "Britta, you have someone. You have Jeff. He just proved to you that he won't leave you for some stripper-slut named Veronica. You have a life ahead of you Britta; don't waste it being scared of a relationship. If you'll excuse me, I need to get to my Advanced Sandwich-ology class." Shirley left Britta seriously considering her life. What _has _she done? She's been to thirteen countries. She was in the Peace Corps. She foot modeled. But none of those are real achievements. Britta wanted to do something, something important. And so she did.

"At lunch that day, they were serving veggie burgers. Greendale doesn't go vegetarian. Jeff Winger stood there, contemplating about an unknown thought while searching his mashed potatoes for an answer. He-""Abed, shut the fuck up. I'm thinking." Jeff said whilst giving Abed the evil eye. "I'm just doing my job." Abed stated, with his face blank. As he walked away, Jeff screamed "THE MATRIX!" Abed looked back and smiled. Who couldn't be friends with this awkward, Meta, beige praying mantis? Just as his day was getting better, he saw Britta stand up on a table.

"Hello, Greendale student body! I am Britta Perry! I wanted to let you all know that today, I considered what I have done with my life, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is absolutely nothing! So starting today, we will do our best to throw the most extravagant dance ever. We will go over budget, have a stupid theme and we will win. By we, I mean the student body. But when I'm talking about winning, I'm talking about Jeff Winger, the man who will be my Fresh Start King." Everyone was silent for a moment. They didn't know to applaud her, throw their veggie burgers at her, or just stand there. But Abed knew what to do. He started a slow clap. Slowly but surely everyone joined in.

Britta felt important, like a conqueror for the first time in her life. She wasn't lying when she said she hadn't won anything. Talent shows, prom queen, homecoming court, raffles, the lottery, she hadn't even gotten one of those T-shirts that the cheerleaders or whatever they're called shoot out to the crowd. But, just like two years ago, she felt overly confident and good about herself. Britta felt like she actually had a chance. She believed in herself. But she couldn't do it alone. Britta needed Jeff.


	3. Chapter 3

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 3: Resentment Supervision

Every morning Jeff wakes up at 5am. He goes for a light jog for thirty minutes, does crunches for fifteen minutes, and takes a shower for fifteen minutes. He puts on his daily casual yet sexy suit, and drinks a dark roast coffee for breakfast. He does his hair and puts face powder on (just to even out his skin tone, he's not gay). And then, Jeff does nothing. His classes start at 8:15am, and it's only seven thirty. This happens almost every day. But today is different.

Today, Jeff woke up next to a blonde mass of hair. He almost screams, not remembering anything from last night, but relaxes as he realizes its Britta and knows why she's here. No, they didn't have sex (he wishes), but Britta came to his condo to do homework and didn't feel like going home. Jeff looks over at his alarm clock. It's 6am, which isn't too bad, but it means that he can't go jogging. He's doing crunches over his door when Britta wakes up.

"Where the fuck am I?" Mumbles a confused Britta. Jeff sees her upside down and decides to be cruel. "Hey Britta! Thanks for the blow job last night; I'll tell Troy how good you are!" Britta stares at him speechlessly, and then runs to his bathroom. Jeff unstraps himself from over the door and sneaks up behind Britta. "Britta, I was kidding. I was just bored." When Britta turned around, she slapped Jeff hard against the face. "What the fuck was that for? I said I was sorry!" Jeff rubbed his cheek as he defended himself. "Impulse. Anyways I knew you were lying, because I find that disgusting. Now get out, I need to take a shower."

Jeff walked out of his bathroom, and decided to do something different. When Britta finally got out of the shower (for an environmentalist she sure wastes a lot of water, Jeff treated her to a homemade breakfast. "Aww is Jeffy poo a chef?" Britta said in her serial killer voice. "No. I just wanted to something nice because sometimes I can be a decent human being. And before you throw a temper tantrum all this shit is vegetarian." Jeff retorted snootily. Britta looked at him and gave him a crooked smile "Thanks."

They carpooled to school, and when they got in the study room Annie looked pissed. "Annie is something wrong?" Britta asked shiftily. "Oh, nothing. It's just been weird that you too have been hanging out _a lot_ this week. But, you know, I'm a loose person now so it doesn't bother me. I mean, you're _just _carpooling together every morning, and you're _just _being nominated for King and Queen." Annie tried to say this all care-free, but even Jeff knew she was faking. "Annie, I just picked up Britta because she missed the bus and called me. We're not a couple or anything even remotely close." Jeff said flatly. Britta looked at him "We're not? I-I mean we're not. There's nothing to be jealous of Annie."

Annie glared at Britta "I'm NOT jealous! I just want everyone to be happy including me! Especially me!" She was fuming, and Jeff glanced sideways at Britta, "Annie, I don't mean to be rude but, I'm not going to date you. Ever. You're too young for me and quite frankly, you deserve better than a thirty five year old ex-lawyer who goes to this college shaped toilet." "Then doesn't Britta deserve better? I mean, I'm obviously more intellectual than Britta, I mean _look_ at her GPA, but why does she hold more candidacy than me?" Annie retorted angrily. "Ex-_cuse _me? I know I'm not the most intelligent person in the world, but you're sinking that low Annie? That's rather insolent coming from a pill addict. Jeff doesn't 'deserve' me. Jeff doesn't 'deserve' you. Jeff can make his choice as can you and I." Now Britta was getting irritated.

"Oh, so it's not okay if I _fix _my problem with pills, but when you have peyote and mare-ah-jew-wanna seldom it's okay? Your logic makes no sense Britta." Annie argued back. "First of all, it's pronounced marijuana, and secondly I'm not going to fight with you because as an American citizen you are entitled to your beliefs and rights and I'm not going to cross that line because even Kunta Kinte thought that I was a good friend. Come one Jeff" She took Jeff's arm and they walked together to History 101.

During a boring lecture from their new Professor, Jeff and Britta started passing notes.

Do you really think that I don't deserve anyone?

That's not what I said.

That's what it sounded like

Well, than do you think we're nothing?

No…I think we're something. I just don't know what

Talk to me at lunch. Prof. Boring-pants looks suspicious.

Jeff chuckled to himself and couldn't wait for lunch. The lecture seemed to go on and on, but when the Professor finally dismissed them Britta and Jeff started talking. "Jeff, I really don't know what we are. The sex basically stopped. The friendship has grown. I don't want to lose you as a friend, but I still um, want you." Britta confessed, blushing slightly. Jeff never knew she felt the same way. "Britta, I want you too. When Abed announced everything about us, I didn't want it to end there. I wanted it to continue, to keep up the adventure. You know, sometimes I think to myself 'What if Shirley didn't come back to her wedding rehearsal on time? What if she was delayed for five minutes?' We would've been married Britta. And I'm not sure if I wouldn't like it."

Britta looked at him intensely, and kissed him right in the middle of the hallway. And kept on kissing him. She didn't stop until the Dean tapped them on the shoulder and said "You two love birds are causing a traffic jam, you can continue in that janitor closet- Jeff? Britta? Is that you?" Jeff awkwardly shifted his weight from foot to foot. "Uh, yeah. By the way, thanks for rigging those votes!" The Dean wiped away a tear from his face and ran away. "I bet he was going to say 'Awe, Jeffrey. I thought you were saving yourself for me!', then touch your abs, then leave." Joked Britta. Jeff snickered and agreed. "This day was pretty great, except for Annie's meltdown." Britta nodded, and thought that this was the beginning to something great- matching crowns for the two of them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 4: Quixotic Concessions

Britta walked into the study room, but something was different. Instead of their regular table, there was a black lab table. Sitting around the table was everybody in the study group dressed and painted black. "What the fuck is going on here?" asked Britta. "Britta, we are your future, black and uninteresting." Shirley unenthusiastically explained. "Hey, that's racist!" Chang popped out of nowhere and yelled at Shirley, "You can't paint yourself black and then say your black!" Britta looked at Chang suspiciously, "I'm so confused." Abed indifferently clarified for Britta, "You're never going to win everything. You're the typical Scandinavian 'hottie'. And in an average T.V show, you'd be stupid. And since you are actually pretty stupid, you're making us the average T.V. show. We don't want to be an average T.V. show, but Britta, the tribe has spoken. It's time for you to go" When Abed declared that Britta was voted out, Troy halfheartedly extinguished Britta's torch.

Britta woke up confused and in a cold sweat. Her dream was astonishingly realistic of her darkest fear- exclusion. She knew it was bogus when Troy put out her torch, but she didn't want anyone to do anything too crazy to her today. Consequently, Britta decided to be discreet for today. Since her little dream disturbance, she couldn't go back to sleep. She tried one of Jeff's coping mechanisms for early-risings. Britta rustled through her closet to find a sports bra and some shorts. All she had was a neon yellow sports bra (impulse buy from a store in Amsterdam) and some of Jeff's old black spandex shorts. Why the _hell _does she have a clusterfuck of Jeff's clothes?

Britta walked outside at 5am sharp, and started to walk. She was always naturally cold, but today was extra icy, so she started to jog. After about five minutes of jogging she wasn't getting any warmer so she started to run. When Britta was little, her mom made her run on the treadmill uphill so she would get emaciated and prepared for pageants, so she ran pretty fast for a thirty year old. Before she knew it, she had run four miles in less than thirty minutes. Britta had warmed up, so she walked to Starbucks for an iced coffee to wake up even more. She strolled into the shop and everyone was staring at her.

She completely forgot she was wearing a neon yellow sports bra, but she didn't give a shit. Britta walked up to the barista and recited a memorized order, "Add shot Grande two-pump caramel three packet Sugar in the Raw upside down iced coffee with soy milk". "Oh hey Brittany!" the barista exclaimed, "You're the one who _always _orders this!" Britta stared at her, "My name is Britta." The barista flinched, and apologized, "Oh dear God, I'm so sorry! I-I'll give you this one on the house-on me. Just _please _don't tell my boss!" Britta contemplated her choices; she could ruin a career or get a free coffee. "No problem, your secret is safe with me." She decided.

She waited on her coffee when a person behind her tapped her shoulder. Britta almost spat out her drink, and turned around, "Hey! Watch where you're going- oh. Um, hi Pierce." He appeared out of nowhere, "Britta we need to talk. Here sit down and wait for me while I order my special Neo-Buddhist specialty drink." Britta sat down, and over heard him telling the same barista, "Yes hi I'll have a short half-skinny half-1 percent extra hot split quad shot (two shots decaf, two shots regular) latte with whip." "Um, sir? That's a lot of caffeine for the age you're at. Maybe you want something easier, like green tea with-""NO GIVE ME MY COFFEE OR I'LL SUE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS SHOP!" He roared at her, and Britta couldn't help but feel sympathy for her.

When Pierce finally got his coffee, they sat down in a corner. "I know you and Jeff are together. Don't interrupt me, hear me out. I don't give two shits if you're dating or just fuck-buddies again or whatever you hipsters call it, but I'm giving you advice whether you like it or not. I've been married seven different times to seven completely different women. The relationships have lasted from thirteen years to four months. But I was stupid, Britta. My first wife was the one for me. Her name was Gwynevere, but everyone called her Gypsy. We had four kids, Odelia, Vanya, Tate, and Andras (this was the 1970's, don't judge us). I went on a business excursion to France almost ten years after we got married. There I met Veronique (nicknamed coureur de jupons or CDJ by the residents), a gorgeous French lady who was experienced in- never mind, I'm getting off topic. I cheated on Gypsy, but she didn't find out until three years later, when Veronique showed up at our doorstep. She said that she had been looking for me since three years before. The divorce was finalized three months later."

Britta emphasized with him, but didn't understand what he was trying to say. "Pierce, what you are getting at." Pierce looked at her with a dead pan expression, "Britta I screwed up. Gypsy was my only true love, and I made everything terrible. Let's just say that Jeff is 'the one' for you. Don't screw it up because you're scared of commitment, that's bullshit. You're scared that someone's actually going to love you for who you are, which is stupid. If you'll excuse me, I need to get ready." Pierce left Britta speechless, but he left her feeling heart-broken for him. He was right though, Britta had to do something about all this shit. It would probably go down very messily, but she knew that she couldn't avoid confrontation any longer. Britta needed to fix the problems with Troy, Annie, and Jeff. Not all at once, but not in that order either.

But most importantly, she needed to get the fuck out of that yellow sports bra and spandex shorts, because people were starting to stare and her boobs were itchy.

**This chapter is going to be a two-parter. Chap. 1 was Monday, Chap 2. Was Tuesday, Chap. 3 was Wednesday, and this and the next chapter are going to be Thursday. I have a tumblr where I usually post Jeff/Britta things at if you wanted to check it out. I don't own any rights to the Survivor or Starbucks franshise.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 5/4.5: Activating Exchanges

Britta raced home after her chat with Pierce not only to take off her hideous sports bra, but to get ready. Time had quite literally flown and it was now seven thirty. She pulled on dark skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, a Moto leather jacket, and her favorite motorcycle boots. With a couple of minutes to spare, she drained her coffee as she watched the news. Right before she walked out of her door, she fed her cats and told them that today was going to be a big day. Britta said hi to everyone at her bus stop, even the hobo-er less fortunate- man that nobody sat near. When her bus pulled up, she got a seat right up front. Today just seemed like a good day.

The sun was shining and bright (nothing like this morning) as she walked into the study room. Britta was the first one in the class, so she spent that type making some sort of speech in her head to say to Jeff, Annie and Troy. To Jeff, she wanted to say that she needed him more than kids in Africa need food. Annie would be hard to talk to, but it would have to be an apology for 'taking' Jeff (even though she did nothing wrong), because she needed to mature. To Troy, she would apologize. It was kind of an accident that they got together (she wanted to mix the races a little) and she was just too grown-up for him.

Britta was a little bit late for study group, but hey, she's there. Everybody else could tell that she was over excited, but only Pierce knew why. Before she could open her mouth, Shirley had to say something, "Are we all going to the dance tomorrow? If we are, I was thinking that maybe we could have a pre-party or an after-party or something. That would be college-y, right?" Abed looked at everyone and elaborated on Shirley's idea. "Maybe we should have a pre-party at Annie, Troy, and I's apartment, then an after-party at Pierce's, since only Troy's been there before?" The table agreed, and the bell rang.

Britta didn't realize that she never got to say anything, so she decided to commence her plan individually, starting with Annie. She walked over to Annie's locker (for some reason Britta had never gotten one) and greeted her. "Hey, Annie. I know that we haven't been on the best of terms lately, but I'd like to apologize for the way I was acting. As friends we should put our differences away and reconcile. "Annie smiled, "Britta, I'm the one who should be sorry. I've been extra moody lately because…well it's not the best _time of month_ for me. Well today is fine, but last week was rough." Britta picked up the subtle hints, and they hugged it out. One down, two to go.

At the lunch table Abed, Annie, and Pierce were all missing due to their late Music Theory class. Britta felt as though this was her only chance to really talk with Troy. "Shirley, Troy, Jeff? Do you want anything from Starbucks? I was going over there to get a coffee, and thought you all might want something." Britta politely asked. Jeff raised one eyebrow and suspiciously answered, "I'll take a black coffee with one sugar." Shirley smiled, "A lavender chamomile tea would be splendid right now." Troy looked rather confused (and Britta anticipated this) and concluded, "I don't drink a lot of coffee so can I come with you and see whats on the menu?" Britta grinned, "Sure!" and she took his hand as they walked to the nearest store.

Britta and Troy started talking, Troy asking "What makes it a _star_ bucks? Why not a meteor bucks?" Britta canvassed at the same time, "Have you seen the latest protesting movement in Cuba? It's truly moving." Both laughed, and then there was the foreboding awkward silence. "Um, Troy? We need to talk. I feel like our relationship (if that's what you call it) isn't working. I know we haven't _done _anything yet other than kiss unintentionally and under false circumstances, but I feel like we didn't click. Before last year, all you saw me as was the worst, and all I saw of you was an immature football jock. Unfortunately, things haven't necessarily changed from my point of view." Britta admitted solemnly.

Troy kind of stared at her, and mumbled dramatically, "A-are you breaking up with me?" Britta looked at him in disgust, "You thought we were together? I mean I like you, but I don't want to settle down exactly." Troy sniffed a little bit. "Come on, Troy. You're acting like a little girl. What about that chick Randy?" Troy got cheered up immensely. "Yeah! There's plenty of other fish in the sea!" Britta thought to herself _I wish my cats were this easy to convince_. They got their coffee (Troy ended up getting a hot chocolate) and walked back to Greendale. When they got back to the lunch table, everybody was there.

Annie piped up, "Guys, this is serious. We need to get Britta and Jeff on track for King and Queen." Everyone other than Britta and Jeff simultaneously agreed. "How about no." Jeff snarkily retorted and continued eating. Pierces' eyes widened, "Dear lord, that's _a lot_ of calories Jeff! Do you want to"-he lowered his voice to a whisper- "gain weight?" The only thing on his plate was a school hamburger. Nonetheless, Annie agreed, "That is a _huge _health hazard to your waist! Do you want to keep those hipbones visible?" Jeff looked at her creepily and decided, "I think I've lost my appetite." Pierce grinned, "That's the spirit!" Abed asked Jeff and Britta, "What color are you two wearing?"

They glanced at each other and shrugged. "What about blue?" Jeff said. Britta didn't really care, but Abed and Troy scoffed. Annie looked at them and suggested, "Not blue. No blue would go with both of your eyes. Britta's eyes are a grey-blue, but Jeff's are more of a green-blue. It would be impossible to get a color in between those. I think that you should both wear a black and white mix. Not zebra-y, but Jeff would wear a white tux with a black tie and black shoes, but Britta would wear a black dress with white shoes and accessories." Britta squinted and wanted to say "You've put a lot of thought into this…are you obsessed?" but since she gave good advice, Britta pinched Jeff and they just looked at her and nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

**This a little bit Halloween-y because that's all on my mind right now **** I own no rights to the Clue, Yahtzee, or monopoly franchise or that old Italian restaurant in the finer part of Greendale ;)**

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 6: An Indication Without a doubt

That night, the whole study group decided to go out for a rather nice dinner at an Old Italian restaurant in the finer part of Greendale. Shirley was wearing a lovely green cocktail dress, Annie adorned a mermaid style blue dress, and Britta wore a red V-neck dress. The boys all wore a different colored shirt; Troy wore purple, Jeff a classy yellow, Abed stunning in white, and Pierce in a simple black. They all looked stylish, different, yet cohesive. At dinner, they had a scrumptious affordable meal. Britta and Jeff ordered a large, vegetarian ravioli dish to share, but everyone else ordered individually.

When they were finished, they split the check and went to Shirley's house for a quiet soiree (her kids were at her mother in law's house with Andre for the weekend). Things got boring, so they decided to play a quick game. "Let's play monopoly!" Begged Troy, but everyone declined. As Troy pouted, they tried to choose something else. Abed suggested Yahtzee, but for the fear of creating different timelines quickly tossed the idea. "Why don't we just play Clue? That's easy, right?" Recommended Britta, but she had never played the game before. "Perfect! And how about we coordinate the colors of our outfits to our pieces?" Beamed Annie excitedly. "How about no?" Retorted Jeff snarkily, for this was not his thing. Everyone booed him, and they ended up being their colors matching piece. Shirley offered to get them refreshments, and Troy tagged along to help her. "Wait- lemme write this all down so we won't forget." Before anyone could question how they would confuse their characters, Abed started writing.

_Britta- Miss Scarlett: snarky, sarcastic madam_

_Jeff- Colonel Mustard: dignified and dangerous_

_Abed- Mrs. White: divergent characterizations_

_Shirley- Rev. Green: hypocritical vicar_

_Annie- Mrs. Peacock: maintains her dignity at all costs_

_Troy- Prof. Plum: absent-minded professor_

_Pierce- Dr. Boddy/Mr. Black: unseen millionaire mogul_

Pierce looked over Abed's shoulder as he was writing and furrowed his eyebrows, "Hey! Why am I the dead guy?" Britta and Jeff shared widened eyes, Annie bit her lip, and Abed (not knowing how to properly react) said plainly, "Well, you're wearing black. And I doubt you know how to play this game. Also, you're a millionaire." Pierce glowered for the rest of the night. Shirley and Troy came back with their refreshments, and the game begun. "Ok, who rolls first? The youngest?" Asked Britta, and Abed scoffed. "Obviously Miss Scarlett goes first!" Everyone looked around confused as how that's obvious. "It's how I wrote them down. I have no idea why, but she always goes first." Britta shrugged, not caring that much. But now she had to ask the inevitable question, "So…how do you play?" Troy, Abed and Annie looked at her in disgust. All at once they started talking. "You've never played _Clue _before?" "I always knew you were the worst." And "This doesn't really surprise me, but it still is disturbing."

Jeff was thankful he didn't ask, because he had never played either. His friends played baseball, not board games. As Abed was explaining how to play, he couldn't help but glance at Britta. The way she nodded her head at Abed like she understood what he was talking about was so adorable, he just wanted to kiss her there. But once again, they had to keep a secret of their relationship. Jeff hadn't told a soul about their kiss, and he assumed Britta didn't either. As he zoned back in, all he got from the instructions were "Got it?" and "I think so." But he was Jeff Winger, winging things was in his name.

Shirley dealt out the cards like a poker enthusiast, and the study group went into various rooms to mark their cards. Jeff was left in Shirley's living room with Pierce. "Statistically speaking, either Troy or Shirley murdered me." Jeff groaned and lied, "I have both of them, so your information is irrelevant." Pierce looked stumped, so went for a new angle. "You know, I had a nice talk with Britta the other day. She likes you Jeff. She doesn't like when you try to be someone you're not. No offense, but Britta can do better, but she convinced herself that she cant. And that's because of you. " Pierce's speech was oddly touching, but Jeff didn't get to reply because everyone rushed into the living room right after Pierce finished. Britta rolled a one to start the game, and they all made fun of her. Jeff rolled a five and got into the dining room. "Uh, I think it was Plum-" Troy gasped "-in the dining room, with the knife." Shirley, Annie, and Abed all raised their hands. "Well there go three potential choices." Muttered Jeff as he crossed off everything he had just guessed.

The game continued on and nothing too interesting happened until about thirty minutes in. It was Britta's turn, and she finally got into her first room (She had rolled ones and twos for five turns straight). Britta got into the lounge and long deliberated before she made her decision. "Hmm. I'm going to say it was Jef- I mean Colonel Mustard in the Lounge, with the lead pipe." Troy raised his hand and showed Britta a card. She crossed it out, and politely asked if anyone need a refill for their drinks. Since everyone needed another drink, Jeff volunteered to help her. As they were filling glasses of some of Shirley's cheap wine, Jeff said sarcastically, "You know, I shouldn't be helping my accuser." Britta snorted, and replied, "Do you understand this game at all?" Jeff looked at her in amusement. "Yes, although this is my first time playing it. But I need to talk to you. When we were filling out our sheets earlier, Pierce told me that you and him had a talk about us…did you tell him about the kiss? If you did, I'm fine by that I'm just curious." Britta bit her lip, and admitted "Yeah, we had a talk. But this was _before _the kiss. But he also had good advice which led to the kiss."

Jeff looked at her, amazed. Before she could continue talking, he grabbed her and kissed her. At first Britta was alarmed (you would be too if someone had just basically attacked you) but then got into it, wrapping her arms around him. Jeff picked her up and put her on Shirley's white marble countertop. After a while, the rest of the study group sent Annie to see what the hold-up was. As Annie walked in, she saw Jeff lip-locked with Britta, and screamed in surprise. "What the _hell_? I don't care that you two are together, but you went out to get us wine and you started eating each other's faces? And you call Abed, Troy, and I juvenile!" Annie huffed as the room filled with the rest of the crew. Jeff and Britta looked at each other; Jeff kicked Britta's leg, so Britta started explaining. "Well, as you might've seen/heard, Jeff and I are in a physical affiliation that hasn't been defined yet." She gave a sideway glance to Jeff and he winked at her, so she must've done a suitable job.

The group got over Jeff and Britta's affliction quickly, and the only reason Annie really got up was because it was Britta's turn and Abed was getting impatient. It was around nine when the game finished- Abed was obviously the winner, he knew it five turns after the game started, but he wanted to let the rest of the group have fun. It ended up being Rev. Green (to which Shirley explained "The devil was within him") with the pistol in the Billiard's Room. They hung out for a while and drank their wine, but slowly everyone had to leave. Annie took Troy and Abed to their apartment in her car, and Shirley had to drive Pierce home. Britta and Jeff carpooled, and Britta had four glasses of wine so she let Jeff her home. As Shirley turned off the lights in her house, it looked as though no one had even entered the house, but more had happened in it that night than it had in a long time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 7: Inebriated Delusions

As Jeff drove Britta to her apartment, the radio was on this oldies station. Disco Inferno had just stopped playing when he started to talk to her. "You know, this song was huge when I was three or four years old." He said with a smirk, "I'm getting old." Britta laughed tipsily, "Hahah yeah I-I bet Annie and Troy only know this song from that ogre movie Threk." Jeff threw her a sideways glance, and the perfect song came on. Both recognized it in a second and Jeff rolled down all the windows (and the sunroof) as they belted out the lyrics to Roxanne. Although they were _extremely _tone-deaf and didn't half the lyrics they had a great time.

_Rooooooxanne_

_You don't have to put on the red light, _

_Those days are over, _

_You don't have to sell your body to the night_

Britta gigged even more, more than she normally would, and blurted out, "You know that night when everyone was dancing to this song and you got the pizza a-and we had fun without you? T-that was the night when I realized Troy wasn't good for me. L-later he said that that was his first time hearing that song. Isn't that s-so sad? This kid- uh I mean man- probably had a wrecked childhood due to his parents early divorce so he turned to football instead of facing his problems head on-" Jeff smiled at her as he pleaded, "Please, just stop. Sometimes I think you're smarter when you're drunk."

Britta glared at him and opened her mouth appalled, "Uh ex-kuh-use me? I'm not smartttt or dumber than I ayyum usually. Instead I have feelings like I would be totally capable of driving a complexed car vehicle." Her words made no sense and were sloppily strung together. "Are you high? What is _in _that flask?" Jeff had just noticed a stainless steel flask in Britta's hands. "Haha you've dis-uncovered my hidden secret. I can't have any kind of fun amusement without a certain illegal substance to people under the age of thirty one. I-I mean twenty two. Haha I don't know."

Jeff was now worried. The last time he left Britta drunk in her apartment, her landlord came in to complain and she slept with him. "Britta? I think either you should sleep at my place or I should sleep at yours." Britta's ears weren't functioning properly, so she said "No no no Jeffy! I cannot under any circumstances sleep with you! Until Friday! Thazzz my deal! With myself though I don't know what your deal is. Anyways, shouldn't you not be overtaking control of the mentally vulnerable?" "Britta, I'm taking you to your apartment, but I'm staying with you. Before you speak, we're not having sex. I just want you to get in safe."

Britta stuck her tongue out at him and then started touching her tongue. "Britta? What's in that flask?" Jeff asked, she usually has more self-control when she's drunk. "I don't kiss an' tell" Britta replied, her eyes moving in and out of focus. Jeff pulled over and took the flask from her hands. "Once we're in your apartment, I'm taking a better look at this. But for now, no more drinking it." Britta gave him a cold look, and continued to hum Roxanne, but then realized the song had changed. "Hey! Put Rose Anna back on! I be likin' that song." Jeff clenched his jaw, and sped towards Britta's apartment.

When they finally arrived, Britta was being stubborn and refused to move until Roxanne came back on. Jeff had to do what was necessary: grab her around the waist and hoist her over his shoulder. Easier said than done. Britta is as light as a feather, but when she's kicking in her stripper boots? Jeff never wanted to carry anybody ever again. As they walked in the front building, Jeff shushed Britta and whispered in her ear, "If they hear you talking, the aliens will come down and steal you and make you have unequal rights." Britta looked terrified and truly believed him. Once they got to Britta's door, Jeff murmured in her ear, "Now look in your purse for your key."

Britta heard this sexy, deep, smooth voice tell her to get her key. When she looked into the strangers eyes, she didn't see a stranger. Her eyes widened, she was with a super model. "Y-y-o'kay." She stifled out, mixing up okay and yeah. Britta fumbled with the key and didn't know which lock to put it in, "H-hey guy? Which lock is mine the first second or third?" The man squinted at her, "There's only one. Give it to me." The angel took the key out of her hand and as he touched her hand, Britta felt faint.

She stumbled into a familiar looking room, and the guy took of his jacket. Britta (thinking she knew his advances) started taking off her clothing too. _All _ of her clothing. When the man turned around, she was stripped down to her matching bra and panties. "Thank God I wore matching clothes this morning or this would've been awkward!" Britta thought she said this in her head, but ended up yelling it out loud. "Britta? What are you doing? Put your clothes back on." The man grabbed her shoulders, and moved his lips but nothing was coming out. Maybe this was a Cambodian tradition, to make weird gestures with your lips when you wanted a kiss.

Britta sloppily stuck her tongue in Jeff's mouth, and he picked her up and put her on the couch. After helping her get dressed, she finally realized they weren't doing it. "Dude, you're like reaaally hot and I haven't had sex in like five ever, so let's just do it quick and easy?" She suggested. Jeff wasn't paying attention to her, just the flash. He sniffed it, and then dropped a bit on his tongue and shuddered. This wasn't your average vodka, this was Absinthe. While Britta was on his back, hugging him, Jeff was muddled. How did she get her hands on _Absinthe_?

Jeff sat Britta down and asked her where she got the alcohol. "Who are you even? You're not my boyfriend right? 'Cause I dint even know I had one. Like there's this guy that I reaaally like, but I don' think itz you. Anywayzie I got this stuff from my friend Carmenday or whatever her name is from Guadeloupe- or was it cantaloupe? I can't 'member." Jeff thought that since she's had such a rough night, she deserves some rest. He tucked her into bed, and slid himself in afterwards. "Dude? Whatz even your name? I don' wanna tell my friendz I wuzz sleepin' with this random guy." Britta yawned as she asked him. "Britta, my name is Jeff." Britta chuckles and snorts, and says, "That's funny Jeff. My best friends name is Jeff and I like him a lot. Like a lot a lot. He is like funny and smart and cool and you prolly don' wanna hear 'bout it so I'll shuddup." Jeff grins to himself as he falls asleep to Britta's soft snores.


	8. Chapter 8

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 8: Daybreak Quandaries

Britta woke up with a headache. She turned to her right and her alarm clock read 3:47 AM. She audibly groaned and a mass moved to her left. Scared shitless, she screamed bloody murder and ran to the other side of her room. "WHO THE _FUCK _ARE YOU?" Britta roared as she grabbed the closet object to her (which was a lamp). Before Jeff could reply, Britta threw the lamp at him.

Unfortunately for Britta, the lamp was still plugged in so it didn't even reach the bed. Jeff got on his knees on her bed and asked, "Were you about to throw a _lamp _at me? Gee, thanks." Britta looked confused and was slowly processing things in her head, "W-wait. This is total déjà vu. Didn't the same thing happen on, like, Wednesday? Except we were in your bed and- oh my god, Jeff, did we do it?" Jeff chuckled, and thought _I wish _but just gave her a disapproving look, "Now Britta, do you think I would take control of the alcoholically vulnerable? Or in your words, ' not be overtaking control of the mentally vulnerable'. Yeah, let that sink in for a moment."

Britta looked appalled, and widened her eyes, "I was _that _drunk? Oh my fucking god. The last thing I remember is Abed winning that stupid game. A-and I brought a flask with this really good liquor in it. My friend Carmendy got it for me in Ghana." Jeff eyed her, and explained, "That liquor was Absinthe, A.K.A. the second most alcoholic drink in the world. You had about a quarter of the flask. Oh, and you wanted to get in my pants." Jeff deliberately left out the part where she said he was her best friend, funny, smart, and amazing. Britta furrowed her eyebrows, "We did nothing, right? Oh god, how are we going to explain this to the group?" Jeff sighed, "Well, you shoved your tongue down my throat. And we won't have to explain it; they saw us kiss last night. No explanation needed."

Britta nodded, and wanted to go back to sleep when she realized she wasn't wearing her red dress. "Um, Jeff? Where's my red dress? How did I get into these pajamas?" Jeff contemplated before answering, and decided to say, "Well, you were throwing yourself (and your clothes) at me, so I decided to put you in pajamas so you would realize we weren't doing anything." On the inside, Britta felt like a million butterflies just fluttered into her stomach. But on the outside, she looked as cool as a cucumber (with bright red blush on). She climbed back into bed, and Jeff followed her. He fell asleep faster than her, so she cuddled up into his arms. Jeff wasn't really asleep when Britta snuggled up next to him, but he liked it so he put his arm around her and squeezed tight. He wasn't ready to lose her, and hopefully he never would have to.

Four hours later, they woke up almost synchronized. Since Britta had a bunch of Jeff's old clothes he didn't have to do the walk of shame back to his apartment. She made them coffee as he made them breakfast. They were so in synch they looked as though they've been doing the same routine for years. Which they sort of have. Jeff was thinking about this at Britta's small coffee table when he said, "Can you believe it's been _three_ years since we've known each other? You used to be just the hot blonde from Spanish, but now you're so much more. You're the hot blonde from history." He joked and she snorted. "Seriously, we've changed so much but _so _little. Pierce got over being evil, but he's still a total snob. Annie got over Troy, but she still needs to be in control. Shirley became more accepting, but not enough. Troy got over being the best, but is still a child. And Abed, well Abed is what keeps us together. He's what keeps us a family. And then you, you sort of became less smart." Britta started out serious, but got goofy on the way. Jeff completely agreed, "We should really have an Abed recognition day. Or get him a cake.

They made small talk about Britta's new job as a waitress- "I absolutely _hate_ the boss. He keeps on leering at me"- and about Jeff's next door neighbor- "I swear, it's like she wants me to come to her house in the middle of the night and shut her up. She's one of those twenty year old daddy's little rich girl."- And somehow, about later that night. "Are you even the littlest bit scared?" Britta wondered, because he looked so cool on the outside. "Britta, my image is all I've got. Being a former lawyer does _nothing _for you at Greendale. I don't mean to sound like a douche, but we have to win."

Britta scoffed, and rolled her eyes. "Is that whats it's allabout to you? Just another popularity contest? God, you're shallow." Jeff looked taken aback. "I beg your pardon? _I'm _shallow? If you're so meticulous, then why do you want to win?" Britta stammered, but stated proudly, "I don't want to win. Sure, it'd be nice, but I'm not going to go out of my way to win because unlike most of the human population nowadays I don't need my reputation defining me, I need my good to world to define me." Jeff just looked at her and sighed, "Are you done yet?" Britta smiled and jokingly punched him in the shoulder.

They watched the news for less than five minutes (the 'breaking news' was about the tanning lady) and ended up watching reruns of Cheers. "I used to love this show as a kid, but my mother would never let me watch it because it was to 'profane'. I was fucking thirteen, and that night was the first night I started drinking." Recollected Britta, as she stared at her small boxed TV. Jeff looked at her and grinned, "I was fourteen when I really got into the show, but none of my friends liked it so I kept quiet. But with the season finale in 1992 (I was probably seventeen) I cried that night and when my mom asked I just said I had allergies." Britta laughed and concluded, "I guess we both come from mommy-problem worlds."

Britta's cats, Ginger and Snappe (she thought it was clever), decided that they wanted attention at the exact same time. First Ginger started to meow, then Snappe joined in. "Oh my babies! I'm coming!" Cooed Britta, as she rushed to comfort them. She opened them both cans of food and refilled their water bowl. Jeff watched in awe, "You know, you wouldn't be a terrible mother." Britta had to sit down because she was laughing so hard, but when she got recollected she wheezed out, "Me? A _mother_? No way, José. I'd rather be a crazy cat lady than a weird mom who drinks too much. When my mom was this age, she had all her kids. A mother is something I'd never sign up for." It was then Jeff decided they'd better get to school, but in his head he thought that maybe he could sway Britta's mind.

**Oh yeah, this is going to be more than eight chapters. I expect it'll be twelve or thirteen. You all should be proud of me, I wrote two chapters in two days and I'll probably get another one out of tomorrow. Anyways, I don't own any rights to Roxanne (by the Police) or Cheers or any other companies that I might've forgotten to mention. Please leave me a review and I'll definitely take your compliments/complaints into action (unless they're something ridiculous, like a **_**Jeff/Annie**_** ship. I'm totally kidding) Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 9: Festivity Arrangements

Jeff and Britta hopped in Jeff's Lexus to go to school. "You know, it's been almost three days since I've taken the bus. And your car is a gas guzzler." Britta commented as he checked the inside of his car for any scratches or stains. "Britta, this car probably cost more than all your organic vegetarian shit put together." He nastily remarked. Britta rolled her eyes, "That's makes no sense. That's a good thing that I'm spending less money on food than a _car_. Did you not go to school?" "Says the high-school drop out." Jeff replied with a smirk. "It must've been hard for you Winger, growing up without all those hair products you use now. I bet Heidi Plume doesn't even use that much product." Britta rallied back. Jeff cachinnated at Britta's lack of pop-culture knowledge. "It's Heidi _Klum_ not Plume. Anyways, the hair stuff isn't for me, it's for the women and Dean Pelton. So isn't that selfless?" "This is exactly what a selfish person would say in an argument." Britta said as she pursed her lips. "Oh great comeback. Where did you find that one, the over-used 'clever retorts' book?" Jeff snipped back. "Yeah I did, when I was in your bedroom. You sure have a lot of highlighted phrases in it."

Their conversation consisted of not-so ingenious responses and lots of varied faces. When they finally arrived at Greendale, their conversation of what animal would whoop whose ass ("A squirrel could round house kick a rabbit!" "But a rabbit could bite the squirrel before it got the chance. You're only siding with the squirrel because you were one three Halloweens' ago!") Stopped and they walked to the study room. Right when they sauntered in, they wished they were going in the opposite direction. "Where _have _you been? There's only eleven hours and fifty-three minutes left until the dance!" Annie vociferated at them. Britta tried to calm her down, "Annie? Think about what you just said. We have _twelve _hours left. Six hours for college, two hours after for relaxation, then we'll come to your apartment for four hours of preparations and pre-partying. We have loads of time left."

Annie scowled at her, "Britta, I'm not a 'lay back and watch it all happen' type of person like you. I _need _to be on top of things!" Shirley took over and tried to cool Annie down. "Honey, take your mind off them, and focus on you. Who are you going with?" Shirley cooed whilst rubbing Annie's back. "W-well, Abed invited me to go as Constable Geneva. He even bought me this really nice dress. Who are you going with Shirley?" Annie blushed, and slowly got calmed down. "Oh, since Andre hasn't come back yet I asked Troy and he said sure because he doesn't have a chance with you or Bri- uh because I asked him first." Shirley faltered, but continued with a smile.

The Dean interrupted them with an announcement, "This is Dean Dean the Dancing Machine announcing that today, instead of classes, we will all help prepare for the dance! Since this year is extra special, we will be having _real_-I mean fancy- food and special tables and everything! Lend a hand and this will be the best dance ever! Dean you later!" "Even his _voice_ creeps me out. And I'm a 67 year old man." Commented Pierce as he waltzed into the room, "And before you ask me Shirley, I already have a date for the dance. Remember that Meghan bitch? Well, now she's m chick for the night." Shirley raised her brow, "First of all, I wasn't going to ask you. And second, good for you. Meghan is a nice girl." Pierce frowned and mumbled of how he didn't care. "I hate to be _that _guy, but are we going to help to a music montage or just sit here and talk? Also if we do the music montage, I suggest Bohemian Rhapsody." Abed speculated, and looked around. "How about we take a vote? That's what they do in oligarchies-right?" Troy questioned earnestly. Britta wanted to 'head desk' herself, and replied coldly, "No Troy. That's what they do in democracies. Whatever, let's take a vote." "Ok, raise your hands if you want to do hard work when we could potentially slack off and even skip school." Jeff said dully and sarcastically. No one raised their hands. "Thank god. Well, I suggest we all go to the spa to get ready." Everyone nodded in agreement.

On their way out, the Dean stopped them and put his hand on Jeff's stomach, "My favorite study group? Leaving? I'm afraid I can't let you just _ditch _school. I could get sued for favoritism!" Britta glanced at Jeff as he made up a believable lie in his head. "Oh don't worry Dean; we're just getting party supplies in Colorado Springs. I know its two hours away, but it's the best party shop out there." The dean seemed to trusted them, and let them go without further questioning. "Shit, what if we come back empty handed? Does anyone not want to go to the spa?" Jeff bit his lip as he asked, because he _really _wanted to go to the spa. "Constable Reggie, I believe this is a mission only fit for the two bravest men in space. Are you ready to accompany me on the journey of a lifetime?" Abed acted out quite convincingly. Troy saluted him, "Anything for you Inspector, but I fear Blorgons might just attack us here. With the supplies at the party store, we will be able to fight them off!" While they were acting, Britta turned to Jeff, "So whats the best spa in town?" Jeff looked down on her, "And why are you asking me and not your two lady friends over there?" Britta kept in her laugh, but managed out, "Well, since you insisted in going to a spa instead of hanging there I thought maybe you would to choose. And I also think that you know exactly what spa you want to go to." Well, she was right. Jeff blushed and drove them all to the spa.


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm so very sorry for the **_**huge **_**delay between chapters! I've had exams and writers block, but I know I shouldn't be making excuses. I would expect four new chapters by Monday **_**maybe **_**if I get that far. Maybe I'll be done by then. Whatever, here you go and sorry for the delay!**

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 10:

"Jeff, you drive the most pretentious car. You know that, right?" Britta commented as she sat down on the passenger side of Jeff's Lexus. Annie and Shirley had climbed into the backseat, and Britta didn't want anyone to feel cramped or awkward, so she just sat in the front. "Shut up. It's better than your car- oh wait. You don't have one." Jeff blatantly replied while starting up his car. "Do you want your heated seat on?" Britta rolled her eyes, "Most people don't have heated seats in their car." Shirley furrowed her eyebrows, "Even my craphole of a minivan has heated seats Britta." Britta pursed lips and turned on her seat. Jeff drove them to his special French spa, Digne D'une Reine. Britta snorted into her hands and laughed, "Jeff, that means Fit for a Queen in French!" Jeff's jaw dropped. He was completely embarrassed, but that explained _a lot_.

Jeff checked them in and since he was the only male, he paid, but of course Britta intervened. "Excuse me, but I'd like to pay for my share, seeing as chivalry is dead and the fact that I have useable money." Jeff rolled his eyes, "One, chivalry isn't dead. Two, I was doing this as a friend. And three, I doubt you can pay for this." Britta was taken aback. "Ex-_cuse _me? Seriously Jeff? Seriously? I'm not poor. I have a job, I make money. This is why I insist on paying for things, because so douches like you won't pity me!" She slammed her money on the counter and walked down to the spa.

Jeff just stared at her as she stormed down the stairs. "What did I do?" He asked Shirley and Annie. "Well first of all, you called her poor. And second of all, if you haven't noticed after three fricken years, Britta tends to be rather independent, so you paying for her seems like you don't know her _and _that you're an idiot." Annie simplified for him sarcastically. "I agree Jeffrey, you were rather insensitive. Just get a massage and relax, like I'm going to." Shirley smiled and patted his back.

They all got a variety of treatments, but they had to be back in five hours, so they weren't rushed. Shirley and Annie stuck together for the most part of their experience. Annie got a strawberry facial, while Shirley got a chocolate one, and hand massages. Then, they travelled to the massage table where they each got an hour and a half massage. After that, they got manicures and pedicures to match their dresses. Britta, on the other hand, was doing something completely different. She first had to talk to the owners about making sure everything they did didn't cause any animals harm. After making sure, she went down to get a full bikini wax (just in case). After the wax, they gave her an entire oil massage tinted a darker color to give her a glow without looking like an Oompa Loompa. Once they washed Britta down, she got a steam facial and waited for Jeff to get their manicures and pedicures together.

Jeff didn't have any trouble finding what he wanted. First, he went down to get a facial and an eyebrow wax. Then, Jeff got a hot rock massage with scented lavender rocks. After that, he met up with Britta. "What color should I get?" Britta asked, while spinning the display. He stopped the display and frowned at her. "Stop that. I suggest you get white fingernails and black toenails. You aren't telling anybody about this. Kapeesh?" Britta was about to laugh, but kept a straight face as she mumbled, "Kapoosh." They made small talk while sitting next to each other, but something seemed off. "How come you haven't told us about your new job?" Jeff asked after things got quiet between them. Britta bit her lip nervously, "Well, the last time I had a job I got fired a couple of weeks after I started because of the group. And because it's not a good job."

Jeff cocked his head to the side, "Is it a sit down job, at a desk?" Britta chuckled, "You think I'd do that? No. It's not really a job, but sometimes I sell a little pot on the side if I'm scared I won't make rent." Jeff stared at her astonished and whispered, "Britta! What the _fuck_? Where do you get your weed? You don't grow it, right? _Right_? Who buys from you? How much money do you make?" Britta regretted ever telling him. "You're not my dad, Jeff. I have a bunch of leftover joints from my rallying days that are aged to perfection. And yes, I have one plant that's cleverly disguised as a lovely potted plant. I only sell it to my friends when they're in town and once in an alley way. For dime bags I only get 15, but for quarter bags I get 50."

Jeff looked disappointed, and it made Britta feel bad about herself. "Britta, I think you should stop. If you're doing this for some _sick _plea of attention, you have my attention. Tonight or tomorrow, we're going to your apartment and throwing away or selling all of it. Don't give me that look, Britta. You're not a child; you need to get a job." Britta bit her lip, and sighed. "I'm not doing it for attention. I'm doing it for money because I'm a selfish, greedy, bitch who doesn't take command from anyone." Britta nonchalantly wiped away a tear, but Jeff saw. He took her hand and led her into the bathroom where she broke down. Jeff didn't know exactly what to do, so he just let her sob into his shoulder as he whispered soothingly into her ear. "Shhh. It's ok." Britta looked up, her eyes red and stared into his eyes. "It's not okay. It's taken over my life and sometimes I smoke it. I have a problem and I'm not even addressing it. It makes me feel like a failure, but smoking it makes me feel like a winner." She babbled this out and broke down again.

He pressed a cold, damp paper towel to her face as she cried. When she finally calmed down, she grabbed his face and kissed him hard. They were kissing and kissing, until there was a light knock on the door. They could faintly hear Annie through the door saying, "Jeff? Britta? Are you in there? It's time for the coffee hot tub." Britta giggled a little and looked at him. "A coffee hot tub? I could swear I'm high right now." Jeff held her shoulders and said, "Britta, I'm here for you. No matter what. You know that, right?" Britta sighed and looked at the pale tile. "No, I don't know that. That's what parents are for and I left them. No one's 'here for me'. They don't stay. Al things turn to shit and disappear. Jeff titled her head to look him in the eyes, "Not me."

**That was pretty love-y dove-y and spa-y. I seriously didn't intend it being like this at all. Alas, the life of a writer.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I just realized at this very moment I didn't title my last chapter and it was supposed to be "Biologic Apprehension" and I completely forgot about it. Also, this is _still _Friday but I'm too lazy to put it all together as one chapter.**

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 11: Sanatorium Visitation

Britta looked at Jeff in awe, and held his hand as they walked together. No one had ever shown as much care for Britta as Jeff. Not her parents, siblings, cousins, or any relatives in general, no boyfriends, no regular friends, no one. She was alone her whole life in the dark, and Jeff was her life. It sounded rather crushy and mushy of her, but it was all true. She slipped on a simple black bathing suit and sank into the aromatic hot tub with Jeff, Shirley, and Annie.

"How the _hell _do you brew enough coffee to put in a hot tub?" Asked Annie blissfully rather than doubtfully. "I don't know, but I'm glad they did." Breathed Shirley as she sank lower into her seat. "I just wish Troy and Abed could be with us to enjoy all this. I wonder what they're doing."

"Quickly Constable! We must hurry and gather the much needed supplies for the festivity of crowns whilst watching for Blorgons!" Abed said with a thick, fake British accent. Troy nodded and replied with respect, "Yes Inspector, I only wish we could have our Blorgon detecting devices, or we wouldn't have to be so prepared for disaster." A woman with waist-long black hair walked past them, and Abed screamed "Duck Constable, duck! An approaching Queen Blorgon is coming down on us!" Both of them fell to the ground and slinked to the candy aisle of the store.

"Inspector, that was a close one," Troy panted, "should I keep an eye on her while you get the supplies?" Abed nodded and used hand gestures to tell Troy to keep quiet and always be behind her. Troy stood up and stealthily tip-toed behind the girl. If she turned around, he would look at the party supplies next to him. After a while, the girl knew she was being watched. "Uhm, can I help you?" Troy screeched, "We've been compromised!" and ran to find Abed. As he was running, the girl mumbled "What a weirdo."

"You never know with those two, do you?" Annie chuckled, and continued, "So what are you guys doing after this? It only took us thirty minutes to get here, and it's been approximately two and a half hours and we have six hours to be here, so that's two and a half hours left." Britta raised her eyebrows, "Annie, we're relaxing, not doing math. But I think I'm going to get my hair done and then have a makeup and hair consultant to teach me how to do everything for tonight." Shirley looked shocked, "W-wow Britta. That's actually pretty smart, I think I'll do the same." Britta pursed her lips when Shirley said 'actually pretty smart' but let it go. "I, on the other hand, will be getting my hair done and maybe, just _maybe_, I'll get you guys a surprise." Jeff added, sticking his nose up high in the air.

"Douche alert! Douche alert! We have a 9.8 rating on this douche!" Britta remonstrated as Annie and Shirley snorted with laughter. Jeff frowned for a minute, but retorted, "Without me, you wouldn't be getting your hair in an hour. Or that surprise. So I suggest you be quiet and thankful for my amazingness." Britta rolled her eyes, "Can't take a joke? And amazingness isn't a word, idiot." Jeff blinked at her. "Seriously Britta? Amazingness is a word, and I can take a joke, but not from someone (like who) who can't tell a joke."

Shirley looked at them and tried not to laugh, they were so perfect together. She saw that Annie looked a little out of place and uncomfortable, so she interrupted Britta. "My personal choice to become a vegetarian has _nothing _to do-" Shirley cleared her throat. "I think we should get out now. I have coffee-pruned fingers." They hadn't realized they'd been in the tub for a half an hour. The girls went one way to get dressed and Jeff the other.

"What do you think you want for your hair Britta?" Annie asked politely as they were changing. "Hmm I don't know. I want it down and curled but I don't know what else. How 'bout you?" Annie contemplated for a second, but decided on something unusual. "What do you think about, I don't know, lots of beauty queen volume? Like a Snookie pouf? But not as crazy." Shirley clapped, "That would look absolutely wonderful An-nie! I'm thinking of straightening my hair!" "Holy shit Shirley, that's going to take an hour!" Britta shakily laughed, as they walked up the stairs.

Britta sat in the hairdresser's chair, looking at herself in the mirror. Thanks to the massage she got, she looked glowing but in a natural way. The lady (whose name was Helena) came over to her and asked her, "Are you ready?" Britta ginned and nodded. The whole hair thing went smoothly, but makeup was a problem. Britta was a minimalist when it came down to makeup, usually just putting a little eyeliner on her bottom lid, but Helena was ready to mix it up.

"Have you ever tried a smoky eye?" Britta kept in her snicker as she was about to reply 'Hell no', but just shook her head. "Ok then, what's the color of your dress?" Helena implored, and Britta got nervous knowing she would jump to conclusions. "White. But no, I'm not getting married." Helena looked stumped because she was obviously just about to ask that question. "I have an idea!"

Jeff was already waiting for the girls as they came descending from the grand staircase. Shirley came first, her hair straight as a needle with minimal black eyeliner. Annie came next with her hair volumized, straightened, and over the top. Her makeup was smudged green, but in a sexy playful way. Britta came down last, looking more striking than a yellow car in a black and white film. Her curled hair framed her face perfectly with a little sparkle hair spray and jewels hidden. Britta's makeup was a black and white smoky eye and soft pink lips. She looked completely stunning, and ready for the dane.


	12. Chapter 12

**See, I told you I'd do one every day! I feel pretty accomplished…there was a small typo last time, it read 'ready for the dane' when it should've been 'ready for the dance'. That's all for now!**

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 11: Vassal Diurnal

As Britta walked slowly down the stairs, she smirked to herself as Jeff looked her body up and down. Little did he know that she was already in a competition with him, whoever makes the first move loses. She walked up to him and mouthed _Game on_. Jeff read her lips and almost kissed her right there. The fact that he knew exactly what she was talking about was scary, but he was up for the challenge.

"So, while you ladies were getting beautified (which was much needed for Britta) I took the liberty of renting us a stretch limo to take us to the dance and back to Pierce's place, _with full bar_. You can all thank me later." Jeff bragged to the girls. Shirley hugged him from the side and Annie smiled at him while Britta puckered her lips, annoyed. "What, no butler too? No one to wipe our asses for us? Wow, you've really lowered your standards Winger." Britta gave Annie a discreet high-five and Shirley giggled. "Knowing you, no one would want to wipe that." Jeff fired back, and tried to high-five Shirley, but she was just looking at him in disgust. "That's creepy Jeff. You need a filter, desperately." Shirley said while backing slowly away from him. Britta jumped in, "You know, I hear they have pretty cheap _Brita _filters at Bed Bath & Beyond, or wherever you old people shop." "Well, you certainly know it's cheap if its name is Britta." Jeff snarled back, gritting his teeth at the word old. "Britta, who are you calling old?" Shirley asked aggravated and putting Britta on the spot. "Jeff. Definitely Jeff. Not you, you're as young as…Annie." "_Hey_! I'm not _that _young."

The bickering continued until they finally reached Greendale, matching up perfectly with Troy and Abed. The boys had their arms full with bags and items that couldn't be explained. Annie jumped into character right away, "Oy, Inspect-ah! That looks like a Quantum Spann-ah, innit?" Abed twitched, knowing her British accent was awful, but put on a mischievous face, "Why of course, Geneva. Constable Reggie and I had to _just _escape the hands of a human-shaped Blorgon. It was rather frightening, but it's for the good of the festivity." Annie giggled, and Pierce cleared his throat. Britta and Shirley screamed, Troy dropped to the ground, Annie gasped dramatically, Abed was left blank-faced, and Jeff looked mildly surprised. "Forget about me? Yeah thanks. I've been waiting here setting up for the past five hours. True friends my butt."

Britta immediately felt extreme remorse. She hadn't even noticed Pierce wasn't there. She assumed that he'd gone with Troy and Abed, and Abed and Troy thought the opposite. "Pierce: let me make it up to you. I will be your slave from now until three o'clock. That's two whole hours, but my rules are _nothing sexual or racist or mean_. Like you can' tell me to kiss Chang, then call him a crafty Asian, then kick him. You can, however, make me put a frog in his back pack. Comprende?" Pierce thought for a moment, and decided, "Oui. That's Spanish for yes, right?" Annie was about to correct him, but Abed just put his hand on her shoulder and shook his head. "Ok, first I want you to…run around the football track twenty times. And by run, I mean _run_. I will have Abed collect your time data, and if at any point you are going under six miles per hour, you'll start over." Pierce evilly laughed as Britta stood tall and headed down to the track.

"Holy shit, Britta's a fast runner." Troy commented as Britta's legs were flying. "Yeah, but just because her mom made her do obscene amounts of exercise." Jeff spit out, jealous that she had a caring mother. Annie raised one eyebrow, "And you know that because…?" "Because I listen to her? I'm sorry that's such a crime." Jeff spat out at Annie. He didn't mean to be this rude, but without Britta there was nobody to impress and no fun, which was an oxymoron within itself, as Britta is a buzz kill.

After she finally finished, Britta did a victory whoop. She jogged to Abed to see if she made it. He had a sad look on his face, and Britta was already crestfallen. "Britta, I'm really sorry, and I hate when people do this, but…you did it! Your average was twenty-five miles per hour, which means you did that track in twenty five minutes! Congratulations. " Britta was shocked; she knew she ran fast, but not _that _fast. As she was celebrating, Jeff pulled Abed over. "Abed, that's impossible. She didn't run 25 miles per hour. What did she really run?" Jeff whispered harshly to him. Abed frowned, "She only ran 17 miles per hour. But that's still an achievement." Jeff fumed, "Abed, don't lie to Britta. If she ever finds out about this, she'll be depressed. I know you have your whole 'filter' thing, but you just don't lie to Britta. She values honesty, not sugar-coating." Abed nodded and looked miserable, "I thought I was doing something good.", and slumped back to the group.

For the last part of the day, everyone helped the dean set up the cafeteria. Britta was holding Jeff's ladder so he could string up the banner, shouting for him to be careful. Abed, Troy, and Annie were all creating a table fort throughout the halls in case things get boring later on. Pierce was unhappily helping Shirley in the kitchen preparing fancy hors d'oeuvres. Jeff kept on pretending to fall off the ladder, causing Britta to do a mini-scream and slap him whenever he got down.

To get back him, Britta hatched a scheme. It was her turn to string up the left side of the banner, but before she went up she put a bunch of pillows down on her 'landing site'. When she was up there, she pretended to lose balance and fall. Britta dramatically screamed, and instead of landing on pillows, she landed in someone's muscular arms. She looked up into his mesmerizing blue eyes, sharp jawline, ridiculous Keebler elf nose, and a condescending frown. "Britta, what the _fuck _were you thinking? Its idiots like you that are the reason lawyers make money." He grunted and put her back on the ground. "I was just trying to have a little fun." She bickered back, crossing her arms. "Fun usually doesn't involve suicide." He snarkily retorted with that dumb smirk on his face." In her head, Britta thought _game on _and knew exactly what to do. She leaned into his shoulder and seductively whispered, "If you're adventurous, it might.", and winked at him. As she walked away, she looked back at Jeff to see him staring with his eyes wide, and Britta knew she would win.

**The only reason I put Pierce in there was because I forgot about him! Oops! Expect chapter 12 tomorrow!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 12: Fortification Concealed

Annie had just finished setting up their pre-party arrangement when someone buzzed in. "I'll get it!" shouted Annie from behind her shoulder to Troy and Abed as she left for the stairs. The worst thing about their apartment was where it was. The elevators hadn't been working since the early nineties, so she had to walk down three flights of stairs to greet her guests. The rest of the study group had all waited outside for each other so they wouldn't have to buzz multiple times. Annie opened the door and greeted all her guests. "Annie, why did you tell us to bring pajamas?" Asked a skeptical Britta, eyeing Annie's humungous grin. Jeff nodded along, "We're not playing another dumb game, right?" Annie giggled, "You'll see!"

Shirley panted as she climbed the stairs, "You know Annie, you should really…get the elevator fixed." "Well _I _can't fix the elevator. Maybe Troy could and the building would pay him! Well the manager, not the building." Annie smiled giddily, and overly happy. They stopped before the door, and Jeff pulled Annie over as Pierce, Britta, and Shirley filed into the apartment. "Annie, why are you so happy? I don't want any surprises." Jeff demanded as Annie fiddled with her thumbs. "Geez, all that happened was something between Abed and I earlier, it's none of your business. Well, if you must know we kissed." Jeff smiled at her, "That's really great of you Annie." She frowned a little, "You don't sound jealous." Jeff searched the room for something to stare at other than Annie's ginormous eyes. "Because I'm not." He cleared his throat and walked in the apartment, leaving Annie speechless.

As soon as he walked in, he wished he went the other way. Troy and Abed had turned the entire apartment into a blanket and pillow fort and mixed the furniture so no room was recognizable. "Oh my god guys, again? This is very Season '1' of you guys." Jeff commented, not impressed. "It was short notice. And now we have a movie theatre." Abed said while crawling out of an entrance. "Ladies change to the left, and the boys are coming with me." Jeff crept through the blankets and changed into his Burberry cotton pajama pants and old white t-shirt. Abed and Troy both came out in matching Superhero pajamas, while Pierce was adorned in an all silk baby blue pajama set. "How about we sneak- I mean go to the girls and see if they're ready." Pierce suggested, having ulterior motives. "Girls, we're coming!" Troy shouted, and Pierce frowned, wanting to have seen them indecent.

"Why didn't you tell me to wear nice pajamas?" Britta complained as Annie came crawling in with matching pink pajamas. "Well, I wanted you to be comfortable." Shirley smiled, "I never wear elaborate outfits to sleep." She had simple black sweatpants and an elementary school choir shirt on. Britta had on some old boyfriend's boxers and a long grey shirt. "Britta, please don't tell me those shorts are yours." Shirley asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow. "Hell no. I have no idea whose these are. But I know for a fact they're not Jeff's." Britta admitted proudly. Tonight was going to be fun, no matter what.

As they all met up, Abed already had an itinerary of what they were going to do. "First we are playing Marco, Polo. Does anyone want to be Polo first?" Pierce raised his hand to ask a question, but was mistakenly chosen as Polo. "Ok, Pierce, when this song ends, you'll have to find one of us while in this blindfold." Abed explained while Annie tied the bandana around his eyes. "The first person you find is the next Polo. Ok?" "Alright." Pierce grunted, "Statistically I'm going to find Britta first, because she sucks at everything." Everyone laughed except Britta, who glared at Pierce. "Now she's glaring at me, right? Anyways, here we go bitches." Abed pressed play and 'Dancing with Myself' by Billy Idol started to play.

Britta crawled fast to find a hiding spot, mumbling Dancing with Myself under her breath. She finally found an amazing spot behind a book shelf. She heard someone go past her and then stop, but the music was still playing so she wasn't scared. The mystery person had the same idea as Britta and started to climb behind the bookshelf. "What are you doing you _jag_?" Britta angrily whispered. "_Shit_, there's someone already here?" Whispered back a husky voice. Britta felt around to push the guy back, but the music stopped. In her hand, she grasped a cotton blend of fabric. "Oh, hi Jeff. It's sad that only you would go out of your way to buy designer pajamas." Britta smirked in the dark. "I dress to impress. Can you move over? And if you don't I'll start to scream and you'll be first found, and everyone will call you the worst. Yeah, think about it." Jeff retorted snarkily, already knowing what she would do. "Fine. But don't say I didn't do anything for you." Britta gave in scooting over. She smelled his Giorgio Armani cologne and rolled her eyes back to her head. Jeff _knew _this was her favorite cologne even though it costs a gazillion dollars, and being in this tight space with him was making it more pervasive. Jeff smiled and talked directly in her ear, "I never said you didn't do anything for me."

Britta sucked her teeth and whispered back, "Oh no, Jeffrey. I'm winning this one. We both know you're more attracted to me than I am to you. _You _were the one who wanted to have sex. _You _were the one who instigated this whole thing." "But you're the one who kept on coming back for more." Jeff murmured back into her ear, and put his hand on her arm. He felt Goosebumps and smiled to himself. Britta leaned back into him just as Pierce said, "Ha! I got you! Guys! I won! I got the black kid, Roy!" Jeff broke character and screeched back, "Pierce, you've known him for four years and we know you're faking not knowing his name. Cut the act." By the time he finished saying this, Britta was long gone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! I know those of you who actually follow my story are probably extremely pissed at me, but I have excuses. Last weekend, I had dance rehearsals and recitals all weekend and **_**oodles **_**of homework. This weekend I went to a Marina & The Diamonds concert (which was **_**amazing**_**), so I couldn't write on Saturday, so I'm trying to quickly write this on Sunday! I'm sorry if this turns out terrible, I've had writers block lately so I've no idea what to write. Hope you enjoy!**

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 13:

After three more games of Blanket Fort Marco Polo, the group gathered where the 'dining room' was supposed to be. "Since we're crouched in here, we might as well have an Indian style dinner! By using the throw pillows as chairs, we achieve the mystical feel along with the Hindu music that Abed bought on iTunes!" Annie excitedly explained, while seating everyone down. Britta tried to crawl angrily (which is very hard to manage) away from where Jeff was sitting, so they ended up nowhere near each other. "Ok, so I'll put the vegetarian stuff by Britta, but for everybody else, dig in!" Annie exclaimed, helping herself to a plate of spicy chicken. They didn't do much talking, but when things started to dim down, Abed started playing a game around the table.

"As a kid, I always tried to do a family game night with my dad, but he always was busy with the falafel business, so I made up my own game. It's called 'What's your favorite?' and it's really simple: the person who starts asks a question and everybody answers their favorite. It's a time passer that works especially well when waiting for food at a restaurant, or so I presume." Abed explained, his face kind of drooping as he finished his sentence. Annie aww-ed, and patted his back. Shirley cleared her throat and cheerfully noted, "I have a good one! What's your favorite color? Mine's Red." It was Troy's turn, and he took an _eternity _on the easiest question in the world. "I would have to say blue, because it's masculine." Jeff contemplated for a second, he didn't think about colors. "Uh-I'd have to say leather brown because it's home-y and looks good on me." Shirley giggled and muttered, "And because it's what Britta wears every day." Britta scowled at her and turned to Annie, "How about you Annie?" "Pink." Annie blurted out, not even thinking. Abed titled his head to the side, "I'd think you were more of a majestic purple girl. Anyway, mine is orange." Pierce was sleeping, so Britta nudged him, "Green! Money!" he shouted.

Britta raised her eyebrows. "White." The rest of the tables booed her and threw napkins at her. "What? It's pure, unlike the world today. Anyways, shouldn't we be getting changed? The dance is in like an hour. Let's go!" The girls crawled to Annie's room (who would _never _let her room be turned into a blanket fort) whilst the boys stayed and chatted for a bit. "Can someone help me with the zipper?" Britta asked, as she was getting dressed. "Sure sweetie." Came the ready reply of Shirley, "But might I ask, is this lingerie for someone special?" Britta widened her eyes and Annie and Shirley were crying of laughter. "_Shirley_! I can't believe you! And god no! Me and Jeff are in this stupid game and I'm going to win!" Shirley shrugged, and didn't believe her. "Can you two help me fix my makeup?" Annie and Britta nodded, and Annie ran off to fetch her makeup case which was hidden somewhere in the museum room of the fort.

"Now seriously Britta, why are you trying so hard to impress him? And before you lie to me, cut the crap about this _game _you two are playing. These games are killing you two, and you know it. The only reason you play games with him is so you two won't be exclusive." Shirley said in a serious tone, eyeing Britta. Britta bit her lip nervously, not knowing what to do. "Alright, but you won't like the truth. Jeff is the only one who gets me in this group, and I need that. If he graduates this year I'm screwed and the group is broken, because no Jeff and no me equals disaster. Ask Abed about the timelines where I leave, and then that'll mix with the main timeline and I'll end up engaged to a pizza guy named Toby." Britta lied through her teeth, knowing this is the only thing Shirley would believe. Shirley nodded slowly, expressing her confusion with her eyes. "Uh-_huh_. Well you keep on dreaming." Annie came crawling back, "Sorry it took me so long, Troy was basically crying as I tried to 'ruin' his museum. What a kid."

Britta snorted, and that turned to her doubling over in fits of laughter. The sight of her rolling on the floor drove Annie and Shirley to tears, and the noise caused the men to wonder what the _hell _was going on. "I think they're all lesbians and having a huge affair. Let's go watch!" Pierce disgustingly commented as the other boys groaned with annoyance. "They're probably laughing at Britta because face it, when do we not laugh at Britta?" Jeff argued, and they all nodded along. "Jeff? What's going on with you and Britta?" Abed asked, making the room feel suddenly awkward. "W-what do you mean?" Jeff stuttered, not knowing they were that obvious. "I mean the games, the late nights together, and the sleepovers, the everything." "Abed, nothing is going on. Got it?" Jeff commented through gritted teeth, "Let's get changed."

The girls were all changed, but they needed to put on the finishing touches. "Britta, I never knew you had your ears pierced!" Annie smiled as Britta shoved dull, old, earrings into the closed up holes. "Got them done when I was four for a beauty pageant, got my doubles at six, and I got my cartilage the day I turned sixteen after my mother told me I couldn't I don't wear earrings because they're unnecessary." Shirley's smiled faltered, but tried to keep the conversation upbeat, "We all look so beautiful! The boys sure are lucky to have us!" Britta scoffed, "You betcha, I wouldn't've even gone if Jeff and I weren't nominated. I would've been watching CSI instead." Annie and Shirley frowned, and shared a look that said "Looks like someone woke up on the regular side of the bed today."

**That didn't turn out too bad…I might have the next chapter up tomorrow, but don't expect anything! Thanks for sticking through this! I can't believe I started **_**before **_**October and I'm still going!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Crap I forgot to title my last story and I really don't feel like titling it, so the last chapters name will forever be blank. Anyways, I know I haven't been writing as often as I should be, but believe it or not I have a ****n extremely sad**** life outside this fanfic. Hopefully this upcoming weekend I'll post two in a row. I have no idea when I'm ending this though, but I'll be sad when I do…I really wanted to do a Christmas long fanfic **

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter 14: Artistic Beings

"Guys! The limo's here!" Abed shouted, as he answered the door to a handsome man in a tux. "Good evening, Sir. My name is Roland and I'll be your chauffeur for the night. You can use all the amenities in the car tonight." Roland explained to Abed as the rest of the group came crawling from separate entrances. Annie wrinkled her nose, "You're thirty minutes early. Was there reverse traffic?" Roland looked nervous and glanced at Jeff. Jeff discreetly nodded, and Roland happily sighed. "The limo service your friend Jeffry rented," Roland paused for dramatic effect," is a service that lets you paint the limo. We have an array of colors, paintbrushes, and if you don't want to do any of that you can always have a beer." Abed eyes widened, and Troy squealed like a little girl.

Roland led them down the stairs to a fancy limo with all the paint outside of the limo. Annie, the planner, decided she knew exactly how they would design it. "First everyone has to print their name on at least one part and do a design/cartoon with it. Then, the people who want to do more things can do them." Britta looked unhappy, mainly because she sucked at art. She sighed and picked up a small paintbrush. "No no no, Britta. We're doing our names big." Annie explained like Britta was a five year old, giving her a condescending look. As soon as she turned around Britta flipped her off. Jeff chuckled and picked up a heavy duty paintbrush and the blue paint. He put his first and last name with a little cartoon thing with a big nose. Britta leaned on the limo and scoffed at his painting, "What the hell is that?" Jeff was embarrassed and spat out, "Like you could do any better." Britta took up the challenge and grabbed the red paint. She drew a heart with arrows and put her name inside. "Whaddaya know? I'm better than you at art, too!" She smirked and went inside the limo to have a beer. Tonight was going to be a long night.

Jeff decided to join her inside, because as she pointed out he wasn't an artist. Annie drew flowers and a sun with her name and more flowers all over the limo, girling it up. Abed and Troy drew Blorgons and Cougar Town references. Shirley put her name with a cake. Pierce put his name with boobs, but then erased it and made what he called 'abstract art'. Abed made his name hangman style, and Troy put his name in bees because they were his favorite animal. They all (except for Jeff and Britta) made a collage of Greendale, and painted 'vroom' just above the license plate of the car. As they were all acting like four year olds, Jeff and Britta were inside, already starting their night by drinking. Britta concocted vodka with four olives, and Jeff found a hidden Scotch in the back of the wine chiller. They were already pretty hammered before the limo even left.

The limo left late, and they toured around Greendale a bit before they got to the school so they could be fashionably late. "A-abed, does mah makeup still look A-Okay?" Britta stuttered out, seeing three Abed's. Abed stared at her with pity and sighed, "Yes Britta, your makeup looks perfect. Why don't you talk to Jeff?" Britta mumbled out something that sounded like "Yes", but Abed couldn't be sure. He turned to Annie and said, "How did she get so drunk?" Annie giggled and exhaled a little, "She's just trying to have fun, I think. Then again, no one _really _knows Britta. Well except for those elite few who she poured her heart out to." Abed read in between the lines of what Annie was saying. "Annie? Are you jealous of Britta? I'm not trying to be rude, but if you'd rather be with Jeff than me right now, I'd rather you say it so I won't have to think about it later." Annie bit her lip, yearning to tell him the truth.

"Well, not exactly. No, I'm not jealous of Britta, I'm jealous of Jeff's devotion towards her. Even when we were 'together', he didn't give an ounce of attention to me as he does Britta. Now that we're not going to be together, it's fine. But they don't realize that they should be together and are vying for someone more. It's frustrating." Abed took Annie's hand, and rubbed her palm. "Annie, I know what you're going through. You're just as much as a control freak as I am, and I know that you want everything to go perfectly. What I've learned from Jeff and Britta is that _nothing _goes perfectly. I've been observing them ever since first year. When Jeff and I go drunk, I heard everything he said. And last year, I heard him arguing after Shirley's wedding rehearsal what apartment they were going to. They will never be perfect, and I honestly don't expect perfection from an ex-lawyer and an ex-anarchist."

Annie stared into Abed's beautiful chocolate brown eyes. She took his chin in her hand and kissed him on the lips. He put his hand on her cheek and stroked her ear. They made out in the back seat as Shirley aww-ed at their romance. It wasn't sloppy, or fast, it was slow, loving, caring, ideally a perfect kiss. As they were falling in love, Britta and Jeff were falling into madness. "Wud are ya doing? The  
Roland guy said no drinks if you're under the age limit of acceptance!" Britta drunkenly yelled at Jeff, snatching his drink up. "No but he's my friend and Dumbledore said I could, dummy!" Jeff replied as drunk as her. They ended up playing tug of war with it and it spilt all over the floor. "Look what you did you _jag_!" Britta slurred pointing to the mess they made. "Dude that was aaaaaall your fault. Maybe you s-should be more careful with the things you love." Jeff faintly pointed out, crossing his eyes. Britta tried her best to look furious and retorted, "I ayyum careful with my love! Don't you think thaz why I'm not careful with you?" They continued to bicker back and forth until Shirley had enough sense to ask Roland to pull over to a Starbucks to get some coffee (and common sense) into them. She asked Troy, Annie, and Abed to get them all a little snack and coffees before they got into the dance so they'd be energized.

As soon as they left, Shirley sauntered to them and started to yell, "What the _hell _are you two up to? You're making fools out of yourselves and disconcerting yourselves. You two are the most self-possessed people I know-even _you _Britta! This is about having a good time before we all split ways, and you two are getting drunk on your asses bickering because you have too much 'sexual tension'. Sexual tension my ass! You two need to go to rehab or find Jesus, or you're going to go back into the dumps-just like you were before you came to Greendale." When she finished her tirade, she watched a tear go down Britta's face, but it was quickly swiped away by Britta's hand. Abed, Annie, and Troy came back laughing to a quiet cabin, Britta took her drink and sat upfront, listening to her old Discman to Radiohead's 'Fake Plastic Trees'. It seemed to describe her life lately.

_She lives with a broken man _

_A cracked polystyrene man _

_Who just crumbles and burns_

_He used to do surgery _

_For girls in the eighties _

_But gravity always wins_


	16. Chapter 16

**Ok so as you know, I didn't write over the holiday break and I've put this next chapter off for a long time. Fortunately and unfortunately, this will be the last chapter. It'll be longer than the other chapters, but I just want to say that I **_**loved **_**writing this although it took me over a year (that's me trying to be funny) to write. But seriously, all the support you've given me is amazing and is a self-help mechanism that also many psychopaths find to be endearing (I'm going for my psychology degree if you couldn't tell). Thanks for sticking through with me through these **_**15 **_**chapters, and I love you all!**

**Introduction to Pupil Monarchy**

Chapter Fifteen: End with a Bang

As soon as they walked into the dance, colors were flashing everywhere. Jeff made the executive decision to eat before they danced, so that it could help his hangover, and so that they could get the food before it runs out. They went into the auditorium where they were holding a grand buffet with plastic trays. "Typical Greendale," Jeff muttered under his breath, then continued, "Where the hell is our flamboyant Dean?" As if someone cast a spell, the Dean popped out behind Jeff from the row of chairs. "Dean-a-ling! I heard you were looking for me?" Jeff winced as he tried his best to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace.

"Yeah, I wanted to say that it was pretty classy of you to hold a buffet in a room with blue folding chairs." The Dean put his hand to his chest and blushed. "Oh Jeffrey, you sure do know how to flatter me. Well, I've gotta run. I need to lock up janitorial closets and classrooms so students don't have _too _much fun, if you know what I mean. Arrive-dean-chi! That's Muslim for bye, right Abed?" Abed just shook his head and sighed as the Dean flounced off. Britta took one look at the food and pursed her lips. "Why don't they have a vegetarian option here? Y'know, I should start a vegetarian club where we rally against the vicious murders of the precious animals in such horrifi-" She cut off by a mutual groan and Troy complaining, "You're the AT&T of people." Britta smirked and noted, "You already used that insult, like, last year!" Troy frowned and yelled back, "You _ruined _my insult!"

Jeff interceded and tried to calm everyone down, "Ok, ok. We all know Britta is the worst. Shut up, Britta," (She tried to argue), "But saying it over and over again won't make her any better. What we need is to get in her head that she can't fix everything, but at the same time we need to fix in our heads that by bagging on Britta, we're just avoiding insulting ourselves." Shirley and abed started to clap, as Britta stood there with an ugly look on her face. She was ready to break, but all she could say was, "How _dare _you have the nerve to talk to me that way!", and stormed off. Abed pointed out, "Ok so now's the part where Jeff races after her, and they have a huge fight which they end up making out in a closet, and then they get crowned King and Queen." Troy and Annie simpered, while Jeff just said, "Shut up.", and walked over to get a somewhat healthy dinner.

Britta sat on the steps outside of the dance, moving a fork around her plate of lettuce and tomato halves, when of all people, Chang came up to her. Chang sat down in a white tux and exhaled, "You don't look like a whore with your makeup today." Britta glanced at him and cautiously said, "Thanks? Wait- why are you talking to me? You hate me, just like the rest of the world." Chang let out an exaggerated sigh, "_Britta_! Don't you get it? We don't hate you, we hate ourselves. You're just so easy to make fun of because of your dumb thoughts, smart ass attitude, and hilarious, typical past life. But it's something none of us have accomplished, so we make fun of you for virtually not wasting your life as we go on wasting our life caring about a thirty two year old with two cats."

Britta squinted at Chang, surprised at how much knowledge he had, "Well, first of all I'm only thirty. And second of all, when you're referring to 'we', who the hell are you denoting?" Chang looked offended, "Don't use big words with me! I'm not un-noting anyone! I'm just trying to be a good group member and make people feel better about them so I can replace Pierce in the group when his old ass finally dies!" Britta stood up with a weird look in her eye and ran, before Chang could murder her.

Back inside of the auditorium, the rest of the group had finished their dinner (with no poisoned or roofied taco meat) and were waiting for the Dean to announce when they could switch with the other group in the cafeteria at the dance. Apparently, the Dean had let a bunch of people who didn't go to Greendale in, and they had turned the dance into a rave. "Well, it looks like you all might need to help me get these liberals out of here! Vicki, Fat Neil, Garrett, Leonard, Magnitude, and Paradox, come with me to get them out!" The Dean pointed to each of them, and beckoned them towards him. Amid the noise, you could hear, "Pop pop!" "Neil's fine." "I don't fight for men who suck testicles!" "I may be allergic to raves" and "I agree, but disagree!", all being amplified from the microphone the Dean was holding.

Britta had walked into the cafeteria, thinking that she was 'allowed' to, to see a bunch of hipsters with glow sticks and paint having a rave. She got paint splattered all over her dress, but didn't care because it wasn't like she was going to wear it again. She found the light outlet and turned on all the lights, and the music stopped. Everyone turned to look at her and groaned. Someone even shouted, "You're the worst!" Amongst the yells, everyone started to file out, now pissed that Britta had ruined everything, once again. Britta ran out into the auditorium, thinking it was empty, but right into the Dean's arms. "You did it Britta! You got rid of all those creepy people!" The Dean hugged her, but yelped as he got paint all over himself.

Jeff came up next to Britta and whispered, "Way to go, hero.", but Britta just turned and frowned. "We'll talk about it later. Actually, I don't really know if I ever want to talk to you again, so let's just stay solitary within each other, kay?" Britta snapped at him, sassily, as she walked to Annie and Shirley. Jeff almost said something stupid like, _I think you meant to say something like, "Let's just keep away from each other" because solitary within each other is pretty much an oxymoron_, but he kept his mouth shut. They all casually moved into the cafeteria, and someone shut off the lights and the music was pumping. Somehow, the Dean had gotten an amazing D.J. (that looked remarkably like Moby) to play an amazing set list. Well, anything other than ABBA's greatest hits was fine with the school as a whole.

Britta stood out amongst the crowd due to her fluorescent paint, but Jeff still stood away, because he didn't want to ruin her night. That's when Jeff started to laugh uncontrollably. _He, _Jeff Winger, the amazing, didn't want to ruin the person most notable for being a _ruiner _night! Troy raised an eyebrow and skeptically asked, "Bro? Are you all right? It looks like you're going to have a seizure." Jeff just shooed him away with a hand, and that's when he realized he had fell to the floor. Now, Jeff was nervously laughing. Everyone was looking at him with a look of accusation on their face, so Jeff thought he'd better stop laughing.

The second he stopped laughing, everyone else started. Embarrassment flooded over his face as he got up and dusted himself off. They kept on laughing. Britta rushed over to him, and led him outside. Abed whispered to no one in particular, "Here it is. The huge fight with the make-up kiss and happy ending." A guy with red hair turned to Abed and said drunkenly, "Who's fighting?" And tried to punch Abed in the face. Abed, with the agility of a cat, ducked just in time to dodge his punch, and punched the guy in the stomach. "D-dude not cool. I coulda sworn we were besties for realsie-seas." The guy stumbled away and Annie took his place. "What the hell was that about?" She asked, looking into his chocolate brown eyes. Abed chuckled and said, "Nothing you have to worry your pretty little face about.", and kissed her in the middle of the dance floor.

While Annie and Abed were canoodling, Britta was tending to Jeff's humility. "Listen, this is your entire fault. You're the one who was laughing on the ground, not me. Why the hell do you think I'm doing this? It's because I like you. And I don't want you to be embarrassed at a dance where I'm supposed to win and we're supposed to win because we're hot even though that goes against literally _all _my beliefs of America being a completely biased country- but I'm getting off topic. You need to walk in there like it never happened and dance with a random chick and maybe feel up Annie. That's how you get your man card back, not by sobbing on the curb with some stupid chick." Jeff dubiously looked at Britta and said softly, "What the _hell_? Fell up Annie? Some stupid chick? Britta, you've got it all wrong, per usual. I like you, too. But I don't like you as a friend. W-well, I like you as a friend; I just don't _only _like you as a friend. W-what I'm trying to say is that I would be psyched to be your friend." Britta giggled, noting the reference from their first year, "Go back in there, tiger. We've got a contest to win." They walked back in arm in arm.

As they danced the night away, the study group waited anxiously for the results. This year, a lot of people were voting. even people from the rave were voting, although they didn't know anyone. The couples that Jeff and Britta were up against were: Vicki and Neil, Garrett and Alicia (a girl who suspiciously looked like his sister), Leonard and Professor Bauer, and Quendra with a 'Qu' and Starburns (who was now Starb-_urn_-s). The song "Without You" by Lana Del Rey was playing, when the Dean announced it. "Ok, my precious stu-dean-nts, can I have a drumroll please? We had a total of seventy two votes this year! In third place, with twelve votes, is…Garrett and Alicia!" Garrett looked like he was about to have a heart attack, and Alicia kept on texting on her phone. "In second place, with twenty votes is…Quendra and Starb-urn-s!" Quendra bounced happily up and down, accidently spilling some of Starburns ashes. "That m-deans, in first place is…..JEFFREY AND Britta! Oh, yay." Britta and Jeff hugged, as balloons came streaming down and everyone around them congratulated them.

They each got sashes and crowns, but Britta gave hers to Quendra, announcing that "jewels don't show happiness, actions do". After the dance, Britta went over Jeff's apartment. They didn't have sex. They talked until two in the morning. And when Britta fell asleep, Jeff carried into his bed. He kissed her forehead, and she fell asleep in his arms. It was the first night they slept together, without having sex. And it wasn't the last.


End file.
